Full_blossomed

Hello fellow bloggers🙂

Today I am going to write about something I have been fighting from last one year and may be more than that ( without being aware) , “depression, anxiety and insomnia”. And this blog is not to share what I have being rather it’s about being aware of your emotions , yourself, how are you feeling in that moment.

What led me to write about it ? There has been a lot going on during the pandemic like suicides, domestic violence, people loosing their jobs etc etc etc. As an individual who has been in depression all these occupancies have hit me hard and it just got back all the memories about how I went through and what did I do to come out of it.

I don’t know how doctors or google define Depression, but here is a definition by me based on what I have experienced. And one more thing before we get into the definition. You cannot get rid of it forever, but do not hide your emotions and let them come out. And you can adopt a healthy lifestyle. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s all in your hands 🙂.

Depression is an emotion where one feels like they are falling into a deep black hole, and it’s full of darkness. You create a stable for yourself, and don’t let anyone in. You don’t care about the hustle anymore. You just want to be left alone….

Why I was suffering from depression?

Sometimes.. we all need someone to hear us, accept us the way we are but, the world is cruel. Not having anyone to talk, though I was surrounded with my best friends and family. But no one to listen without judgements. Rejections from everywhere, made me loose my confidence, affecting my physical and mental health and doubting myself. The fear of being left out. Loneliness was the main reason of my depression.

Phase 1

I used to cry a lot, listen to sad music, stare at the fan, have difficulty in breathing. I used to get anxiety attacks, due to which I had to run to washroom so that I can cry.

Phase 2

I started isolating myself from everyone, no calls , no texts..

Phase 3

Because I am mentally strong , I knew I needed help. I wanted to talk to someone. And I cannot let these things affect my career and daily routine.

So I went to a counsellor , and I just vomit everything in front of him. I cried a lot. I was so tired because I had not slept from a long time that I slept on the sofa.

And he gave me hope. I understood it’s only in my hands, and because I got someone to listen to me without judgments , it was working for me. I took charge of my feelings, stopped wasting my emotions on people who were not important.

Phase 4

I started taking care of my health , yes you heard it right “ health” and not by doing yoga but any form of workout which distracted me from my haywire life.

Why do I emphasise so much on working out is because it helps you focus on your goals and it really does. It has worked for me.

I started eating healthy, it is said that ‘ you will become, what you eat ‘. And it’s true , the more you eat food outside , the more you will be angry or have mood swings.

I stopped talking or listening to people who always complain or make negative remarks about others.

And finally , I STOPPED DOING THINGS WHICH MAKES ME SAD.

And today I am at a better place, I know I can do it and I have done it. It’s not easy. But you need to start from somewhere like small act of kindness , showing gratitude all these small yet positive changes in your life are definitely going to help you.

And most important thing is BEING AWARE OF YOUR MENTAL HEALTH.

If you feel sad talk about it to someone. Don’t think you are alone in this.

And most importantly, remember that you can’t say that I will never fall back into that black hole.

But now that you have come out of it and you know you have done it before so ya you get triggers but when you will be aware , you will come out of it stronger than before.

That’s all for today… I hope you enjoyed reading.